'teenagers' Tagged Posts

Choosing Good Friends

Choosing Good Friends Importance of Good Friends Do you remember your best friends in junior high and senior high school? Think back to the impact they had on what you did, where you went, what you watched or listened to, and what you thought was cool. Friends are a really important part of our lives…

Teenagers Tend to be Legalists

    Teenagers Tend to be Legalists Goal is Godliness While the Bible is filled with instruction and commandments for righteous living, we need to be careful that all our focus as parents is not on behavior and outward actions. Godliness cannot be reduced to a set of rules. “Godliness is humble, thankful worship that…

Your Teenager Doesn’t Ask for Correction

Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181
Your Teenager Doesn’t Ask for Correction
The next several posts will explore how teenagers typically think and act and how we should respond as parents.
One who hates correction is stupid
Proverbs 12:1 tells us that a wise person loves correction. How many teenagers love to be wrong? Does your son/daughter love when you correct them? Does this make them stupid or simply immature? Or does the correction come across as unappealing and out of touch with their reality? Most teenagers lack wisdom and desperately need loving, biblical correction. Is that what you are really giving? As I consider some of my poorly received attempts at sharing biblical wisdom, I know I was often guilty of sharing with the wrong motives or the wrong message.
Prepare Your Own Heart
Am I making correction appealing? Are my words of wisdom sweet or bitter? Matthew 7:3-5 reminds us to deal with our own problems before dealing with the problems of others. Am I letting off steam and hypocritically attacking my teenager or trying to function as God’s instrument of change and grace? Stop, examine your own heart, pray for direction and guidance, find truth in Scripture to show the godly wisdom that is the right choice.Teenagers are Defensive
Well, honestly, most of us get defensive when someone points out our weaknesses or mistakes, don’t we?. Expect this, exercise self-control, and be careful that your goal is conveying wisdom and not simply looking to win an argument.

Three Helps for a Defensive Teen:

  1. Clearly explain your actions and motives.
    “I’m not accusing you. I love and I want to help you. I want to encourage you and help you please God.”
  2. Help them examine their own defensiveness.
    “It seems like you are really angry with me. I am not yelling at you or accusing you of anything. Why are you so upset? I did not want to start a fight with you, I want to help you. What do think the problem is?”
  3. Faithfully confess your own sins against your teenager.
    How many times have I lost my temper, been impatient, been stubborn and refused to listen, disciplined in anger, named called, or worse. My humility and asking for forgiveness will model what God is calling my teenager to do.

Your Teenager is Worth It
Teenagers are usually not asking for your input. They will avoid difficult conversations and protect themselves from intrusion. Don’t give up! Pursue your teenager. Express your love. Ask deeper questions. Encourage them. They are worth all your efforts to stay connected and to be involved in their lives.

Tips for Talking
When you have something to share, keep it brief. Don’t lecture on the past and how you never talked to your parents that way. Think ahead of time about what you want to share. Make it interesting. Make it interactive. Help your teenager examine his actions, assumptions, desires, and choices. Let the wisdom of God’s Word be seen as helpful and true. Your authority or ability to win a debate are not the point. Holding up God’s Word and showing how it is working in your own life will be much more appealing.

I’m praying for you too. Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.
P.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.
You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Remember when…

Remember when… Remember when you were a teenager? For me it was the awesome 80’s. Yeah, I’m old. Do you remember the self-consciousness? The physical self-awareness? Trying to be cool and turning out just dorky? Wanting to play like a kid but be treated like an adult? Being a good parent means being able to remember…

Life in a Fallen World

  Life in a Fallen World   As hard as we may try, we cannot protect or shelter our children from the imperfect, fallen world. We should not hide from it or act as though the brokenness of the world simply doesn’t exist. As our teenagers are hurt they will see the effects of sin all…

Family: A Redemptive Community

Family: A Redemptive Community In the context of family, it is hard to hide reality. We may all “put on a good face” for work, school, even church, but who we really are and what we are going through is revealed at home. The harsh realities of sin and The Fall should make the love…

Rule of Love or Desire?



 Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

Rule of Love or Desire?

Teenagers need their identities to be firmly rooted in Christian community. This should be accomplished through the family.



Rule of Love



The Rule of Love or the Rule of Desire
Your teenagers’ responses to situations will be shaped by the rule or love or the rule of desire. The family is the proving ground where hearts are consistently exposed in the reactions to relationships. It provides a clear and honest view into the hearts of our children and ourselves. What do you see consistently and what are you doing about it?

Rule of Love
“Do to others what you would have them do to you” Matthew 7:12

Rule of Desire
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight” James 4:1-2

Sound Familiar?

  • Fights over the last drops of milk at breakfast
  • Shoves in response to an accidental bump in the hallway
  • Arguments over too much time in the bathroom
  • Debates as to who gets the car
  • Discussions over borrowed clothes that weren’t returned
  • Joining in put-down “humor”
  • Demands for assistance coupled with an unwillingness to help others
  • Lack of spontaneous or at least quick help around the house
  • Duels of cutting and cruel words

These are the moments when God is calling Christian parents to something greater than our own comfort and ease. These are the times when God calls us to love our children unconditionally and take time to correct and disciple their hearts. It is so much easier to find quick solutions to end the noise or stop the arguing, but we miss the opportunities to shepherd them to learn to love each other.

I’m praying for you. Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

P.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Family is Community

Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

Just as our teenagers need to anchor their identity in the existence and character of God, they also need their identities to be firmly rooted in community. This is another key function of the family.

A Club You Don’t Choose

communitySinners naturally want to please themselves and will do pretty much whatever it takes to get their way.

Trust & Obey


















 Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

Trust & Obey

Wrapping up the discussion of how theology should impact our parenting.

Living to glorify God
Teaching and living out our beliefs and understanding of God (theology) needs to be super practical on a daily basis. We shouldn’t reserve discussions about faith and God for Sunday afternoons or the occasional family get together where we share what we are thankful for. Most of us will not invent a cure, write a hit song, or even become famous. Even if we do, most of our lives are spent in the mundane, day-to-day moments of making breakfast, driving around town, or walking the dog. These are the times where character is developed. Parents who want to teach their children how to love God and live for Him, need to make the most of these unspectacular moments at home, school, playing fields, church, or with friends. We want our teens to come to understand that their lives (all parts of it) were made to glorify God.

  “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” 1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

Glorifying God means we please Him and show others what He is like through our actions, words, and our hearts. By asking two simple questions, we can train our teens to ask themselves these questions and learn to live for Him.

The first question is “What, in this situation, are the things I need to entrust into God’s capable and loving hands?” Our teens need to recognize that they have limitations and not everything in their lives is within their control to change. These are the things they need to turn over to a sovereign (possessing supreme or absolute power) God and trust Him for the results. So often, we try to do the things that are God’s instead of leaving them to Him. We try to change people; we try to make things happen and ultimately we are frustrated at the results.

Obey Grey The second question is “What, in this situation, are the things that God calls me to do that I cannot pass on to anyone else?” This requires us to be concrete and specific in the way we think about our calling from God. When we see what our responsibilities are according to the Bible, the only proper response is to obey. Our teens need to understand what God wants them to do and to obey HIM with loving, grateful hearts. It’s not all about obeying parents. Yes, that is one of the things God says to do, but getting their hearts on track to obey God is our primary goal.

Help your teenager see that every moment is God’s moment and that in every situation they are called to trust and obey God. I’m praying for you. Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

Age of OpportunityP.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Their Story is God’s Story

Their Story is God’s Story Continuing the discussion of how theology should impact our parenting. Bible is a Storybook not an Encyclopedia We often describe the Bible as our manual for living. This is a good description, but sometimes we then treat it as an encyclopedia where we look up references for any given topic or problem.…