Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers #81 – Don’t base your Happiness on your teenagers’ happiness

If you base your happiness solely on the happiness of your kids or even your spouse, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. After trying and trying to make and keep everything perfect in your family, your home, your marriage you may have noticed that it just doesn’t work.

First of all, my idea of perfect is far from everyone else’s. Secondly, as much as I try, I am not in control of all that goes on around me. God is in control. He alone is sovereign (knows all, can do all, rules all). His script or plan for my life is very different from the one I may have written. God knows that I need challenges and struggles in my life to grow, mature, and trust Him. I would not choose those trials for myself, and I certainly would not choose them for my kids or my spouse. As a dad, I would rather take on the pain and struggles for my children, but I would be robbing them of what God knows they need.

When your teens are struggling with consequences from bad decisions they made, lovingly help them see the results from their actions. When they face trials because of their faith, encourage them to live for Christ and rejoice that they were worthy to suffer for Him. When your teen has difficult choices to make or is simply have a hard time with something out of their control, help them see God’s hand at work and share experiences that God brought you through. Don’t become miserable yourself because they are struggling.

“Base your happiness on your hope in Christ. When trials come endure them patiently, steadfastly maintain the habit of prayer.” Romans 12:12 (Phillips)

Set your hope in Christ and prayerfully be ready to love and encourage your teens when they are struggling.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

P.S. The blog titles and main ideas come from Walt Mueller’s book “99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers”. I personalize and modify the message, and also add Scripture.