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Life in a Fallen World

  Life in a Fallen World   As hard as we may try, we cannot protect or shelter our children from the imperfect, fallen world. We should not hide from it or act as though the brokenness of the world simply doesn’t exist. As our teenagers are hurt they will see the effects of sin all…

Family: A Redemptive Community

Family: A Redemptive Community In the context of family, it is hard to hide reality. We may all “put on a good face” for work, school, even church, but who we really are and what we are going through is revealed at home. The harsh realities of sin and The Fall should make the love…

Rule of Love or Desire?

 

 

 Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

Rule of Love or Desire?

Teenagers need their identities to be firmly rooted in Christian community. This should be accomplished through the family.

 

 

Rule of Love

 

 

The Rule of Love or the Rule of Desire
Your teenagers’ responses to situations will be shaped by the rule or love or the rule of desire. The family is the proving ground where hearts are consistently exposed in the reactions to relationships. It provides a clear and honest view into the hearts of our children and ourselves. What do you see consistently and what are you doing about it?

Rule of Love
“Do to others what you would have them do to you” Matthew 7:12

Rule of Desire
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight” James 4:1-2

Sound Familiar?

  • Fights over the last drops of milk at breakfast
  • Shoves in response to an accidental bump in the hallway
  • Arguments over too much time in the bathroom
  • Debates as to who gets the car
  • Discussions over borrowed clothes that weren’t returned
  • Joining in put-down “humor”
  • Demands for assistance coupled with an unwillingness to help others
  • Lack of spontaneous or at least quick help around the house
  • Duels of cutting and cruel words

Opportunities
These are the moments when God is calling Christian parents to something greater than our own comfort and ease. These are the times when God calls us to love our children unconditionally and take time to correct and disciple their hearts. It is so much easier to find quick solutions to end the noise or stop the arguing, but we miss the opportunities to shepherd them to learn to love each other.

I’m praying for you. Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

P.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Family is Community

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Just as our teenagers need to anchor their identity in the existence and character of God, they also need their identities to be firmly rooted in community. This is another key function of the family.

A Club You Don’t Choose

communitySinners naturally want to please themselves and will do pretty much whatever it takes to get their way.

Trust & Obey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

Trust & Obey

Wrapping up the discussion of how theology should impact our parenting.

Living to glorify God
Teaching and living out our beliefs and understanding of God (theology) needs to be super practical on a daily basis. We shouldn’t reserve discussions about faith and God for Sunday afternoons or the occasional family get together where we share what we are thankful for. Most of us will not invent a cure, write a hit song, or even become famous. Even if we do, most of our lives are spent in the mundane, day-to-day moments of making breakfast, driving around town, or walking the dog. These are the times where character is developed. Parents who want to teach their children how to love God and live for Him, need to make the most of these unspectacular moments at home, school, playing fields, church, or with friends. We want our teens to come to understand that their lives (all parts of it) were made to glorify God.

  “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” 1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

Glorifying God means we please Him and show others what He is like through our actions, words, and our hearts. By asking two simple questions, we can train our teens to ask themselves these questions and learn to live for Him.

TrustTrust
The first question is “What, in this situation, are the things I need to entrust into God’s capable and loving hands?” Our teens need to recognize that they have limitations and not everything in their lives is within their control to change. These are the things they need to turn over to a sovereign (possessing supreme or absolute power) God and trust Him for the results. So often, we try to do the things that are God’s instead of leaving them to Him. We try to change people; we try to make things happen and ultimately we are frustrated at the results.

Obey
Obey Grey The second question is “What, in this situation, are the things that God calls me to do that I cannot pass on to anyone else?” This requires us to be concrete and specific in the way we think about our calling from God. When we see what our responsibilities are according to the Bible, the only proper response is to obey. Our teens need to understand what God wants them to do and to obey HIM with loving, grateful hearts. It’s not all about obeying parents. Yes, that is one of the things God says to do, but getting their hearts on track to obey God is our primary goal.

Help your teenager see that every moment is God’s moment and that in every situation they are called to trust and obey God. I’m praying for you. Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

Age of OpportunityP.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Their Story is God’s Story

Their Story is God’s Story Continuing the discussion of how theology should impact our parenting. Bible is a Storybook not an Encyclopedia We often describe the Bible as our manual for living. This is a good description, but sometimes we then treat it as an encyclopedia where we look up references for any given topic or problem.…

A Higher Agenda

Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181The next few posts continue the discussion of how theology should impact our parenting.

Higher Agenda

No matter what happens in life, regardless of our own desires and careful plans, the higher purpose is the will of God and the higher agenda is that we would live to please and glorify Him. As Christian parents we want to use every opportunity to point our teens back to God, who He is, and how they should respond to Him. God needs to be the focus and reason for what we do. This is practical theology.

God is Near

 

Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

God is Near

We’ve been talking about the family’s role as the primary learning community. That sounds good, but what does it actually look like? Sometimes our Christian faith gets kind of “fuzzy” when we try to relate biblical truth to everyday life situations. We may quote an out-of-context Bible verse hoping it will motivate them to do the right thing. Let’s take a look at how

From the Heart

 Encouragement for Parents of Teenagers 695x181

 

From the Heart

Good Behavior

good behavior gold starMost parents want their children to do what is right and they often end up with the goal of controlling, directing, guiding the behavior of their children. Christian parents would have to admit that behavior is really important because God calls us to be holy and act differently than the world around us.

However, it is the thoughts and motives in our hearts that ultimately shapes our responses and behavior. God’s Word clearly teaches that the heart is the center of our lives and that our actions (service) should come from our hearts. If we focus all our time and effort on directing or changing the behavior of our teenagers and miss their hearts, we may see young adults who do not follow the Lord the rest of their lives. Simply teaching our children “sin is bad, don’t do it” will create temporary or shallow changes that are not attached to the roots of the heart.

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,”
Deuteronomy 10:12 (ESV)

Shepherding the Heart

drawn_heartOur ultimate goal in Christian parenting should be to know, understand, and shepherd the hearts of our children. What does this mean or look like? A shepherd is concerned with his sheep and their well-being. He is not worried about how his sheep look to others or how much time and effort it takes to care for his sheep. He protects them and he feeds and nourishes them. He guides them to safety and goes after them when they stray. As “shepherds” of our children, we should see ourselves as their primary teachers and guides. We will want to know our children well and seek to understand why they are behaving, thinking, and reacting the way they are. While we want to see outward obedience, our focus will be on what is going on in their hearts and leading them to God, instead of merely punishing bad behavior and “teaching” them a lesson. If we help them and model for them how to know God and desire to glorify Him, the right actions will follow.

I’m praying for you! Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

P.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.

Making Sense

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Making Sense

Deep Thinkers

mind 2 bruce rolffBelieve or not, your kids are thinking ALL the time. While it may seem like they are doing lots of things without giving any thought before hand, they actually are thinking. The thoughts of their hearts shape the way they live their lives. The Bible puts a great emphasis on our thoughts. It has a lot to say about truth and falsehood, wisdom and foolishness, belief and unbelief, revelation and human tradition, light and darkness, and good and evil. God says there is a right way to think about life and a wrong way to think. The outcome of either direction of thinking will be our actions.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)

Making Sense of It All

Our children will try to organize, interpret and explain the things going on around them and the things going on in their own lives.They are trying to make sense out of life based on their interpretations of what is happening. They will typically respond not on the basis of the facts, but on the basis of the sense they have made out of those facts. Whether those interpretations are true or false is extremely important because it will shape everything they do.

A Biblical Worldview

world viewA recent Barna poll found that only four percent of Americans had a Christian worldview. So what is a worldview? It is the framework from which we view reality and make sense of life and the world. “[It’s] any ideology, philosophy, theology, movement or religion that provides an overarching approach to understanding God, the world and man’s relations to God and the world,” says David Noebel, author of Understanding the Times. When Christian parents recognize that their children are interpreters, we should do everything we can to get them to think out loud and help instill in them a distinctively biblical view of life. We need to be good listeners and ask good questions so that they can interpret what is going on around them and come to believe the truth.

I’m praying for you! Let me know how I can help or better serve you and your family.

in HIS service,

Pastor Mark

Age of OpportunityP.S. The themes and main ideas come from Paul David Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”. I’m summarizing what I read, adding my own thoughts and Scripture too.

You can read past posts on our church website HERE.